My Dentist Is Too Happy

I knew I was in trouble when the snap of the periwinkle disposable gloves caught my attention. There was a glint in my dentist's eye and I could tell this wasn't going to be a simple process. 80's hits blared from the speaker and as I waited for the topical numbing to take affect the urge to go to the restroom got stronger…..why does that always happen in the dentist chair…..one round of injections to numb my jaw was insufficient and as if rehearsed, a second gigantic needle was poised for use, eagerly waiting its turn. Minutes later there was a conversation about needing a better drill and a shuffling noise behind my head. How different of a drill could they need….I'm only having an old cracked filling removed….I should have stayed quiet. When the dentist changed positions several times to apply more torque to the drill, I realized I 'd better stay perfectly still. He kept reassuring me that everything was going well...except for the fact that the drilling continued forever and he had to keep asking for my tongue to be removed. I didn't want my tongue removed but apparently it kept flopping about and getting in the way. Brilliant deduction since I'd been injected with enough numbing meds to make me sound like JaJa Binks. Not to be left out of the ensuing drama, my bladder continued to make its presence known. And I kept thinking...I'm actually paying for this, willingly. I'm completely at the mercy of the dental team and I have to lay here and endure this to the end. Next my dentist began singing along to Billy Joel on the radio. I wanted to laugh but one doesn't do that with spinning metal objects and pointy things in one's mouth.  I hope he's a  better dentist than singer…

As a result of massive numbing I repeatedly bit my cheek and wasn't aware that every time I tried to drink, it rolled down my chin. So attractive. Did I mention trying to eat lunch. My advice is, don't  attempt while under the influence of a fat lip and bulging cheek. It's messy. I can't say I was surprised when I got feeling back in my face, my jaw and tooth were throbbing and incredibly painful. Part 1 done. Part 2 in two weeks to fit a new crown. I can hardly wait….